Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
