just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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