i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
