You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
