Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
