oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
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