So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
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