no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
