I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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