Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it glows. i had to have it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
