the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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