I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
