like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
