what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
