There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
True strength comes from lack of pants
This toilet bowl is my home.
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