well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
