I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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