ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
