idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
