im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
