My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
