I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
