you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
