in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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