you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
