is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
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