so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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