her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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