So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
