She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
