I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
