Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
