I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
