That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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