if i can run in heels then i can drive
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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