Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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