I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
