Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
