my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
