My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Barsexuality is the new black.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
