if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
