I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
