That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
