apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
