i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
