It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
