he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
