Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have fence marks all over my body
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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