I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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