I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Don't make out with my wife yet
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
