If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
