I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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